My theme for the A to Z Blog Challenge @AprilA2Z during the month of April is ~ My Life Is My Masterpiece ~ Lessons Learned
(c) Mary Lou Q
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Of all the lessons I’ve learned this is one of the lessons that took me a long time to learn…… And this is one of the most important lessons. The art of trusting your intuition and of learning how to spot manipulative behavior so boundaries can be set to protect yourself is not easy. As awareness has been growing more recently in how to recognize abusive behavior and how to respond to it, setting boundaries is a healthy way to go. In psychological talk it amounts to … “Please don’t feed the narcissist, you’ll only get your hand bitten.” It all gets mixed in with the desire to please people and/or to avoid confrontation by loving too much.
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“To create boundaries we must speak up. These moments can easily escalate into confrontation, which is why so many women stay quiet, rendered virtually mute by unexpressed rage and unable to articulate any needs at all.”
Sarah Ban Breathnach
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The 2016 A to Z Challenge #atozchallenge@aprila2z is 26 Days in April (No Sundays) of blogging using each letter of the alphabet as a prompt for each blog. My theme for this Challenge is My Life is a Masterpiece ~ Lessons Learned
![A2Z-BADGE_[2016]](https://exampleworkpresscom.files.wordpress.com/2016/01/a2z-badge_2016.jpg?w=201&h=201){kind=icon}
Blogger Users can also follow me at atozchallenge2016.blogspot.com
* Note: My letter sketches were made from ideas I found on Google Images. *
I like the idea of not feeding the narcissist.
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Me too! It’s taken me awhile to recognize the signs and follow that advice! 🙂
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loved the quotes..
http://serendipityofdreams.blogspot.in/
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Loved the quote.. Enjoy the challenge… 🙂
http://serendipityofdreams.blogspot.in/
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oh my … such a valuable message and one I need to hear often.
I can set boundaries in the professional realm, but when it comes to personal boundaries, I struggle greatly
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Yes, me too, Molly! I just visited your blog and I love the appearance. Read A and B and looking forward to more. 🙂
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Love the Dodinsky quote. Great post!
Yvonne
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Thank you so much, Yvonne! I found A and B on your AtoZ very interesting! 🙂
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Hi there!
I’m stopping by from the #AtoZChallenge. There was a time in my life when my boundaries were so small as to limit my right to an actual life. I’m better at those boundary lines now that I’m older…and wiser? ;~)
I have two blogs in this challenge…my author blog at THE STORY CATCHER (www.donnalmartin.com) and my KICKS Kids Club blog (www.kickskidsclub.blogspot.com) . If you get a chance, check them out and good luck with the challenge!
Donna L Martin
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Thanks Donna! I’ll be sure to stop by your blogs! AtoZ has turned out to be quite a challenge and I’m glad I signed on! 🙂
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Yes it’s hard to find the balance of boundaries. I think sometimes they are too high walls, other times they are not protective enough – hard to find that golden middle! 😊
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That’s what I strive for …… the middle ground. 😉 Me in the Middle. Thanks for stopping by.
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I’m sure you’ll find it if you haven’t yet ☺
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Yes, Boundaries, great ‘B’ and such an important lesson!
[Amy] from
Tilting at Windmills
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Thanks for stopping by Amy! You have a wonderful website and I plan to visit during the AtoZ. Have fun! 🙂
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This is such great advice. I learned fairly early (late 20s?) to trust my intuition or gut. Don’t feed the narcissist!
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Glad you like the post, Pam! It took me trial and error, and I’m still learning. 🙂
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Wonderful to see the word/topic of boundaries come up. I too, it seems, took a while to understand this word/experience. Great post
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Thanks, Donna! I think it’s about finding that balance between trust, unconditional love and setting healthy boundaries. Still learning! 🙂
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Establishing boundaries is a skill that is many times learned through tough experiences. Unfortunately, I had to be knocked down a few times before I learned to stand up for myself.
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Yes, I’m a ‘learned by experience’ person too! I guess that’s where applying our intuition (refined by those experiences) comes in. 🙂
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It’s a hard lesson to learn but hopefully we all get there in the end. I must try to memorise that quote.
Rosa
@RosaT_Author
Rosa Temple writes…
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Yes ~ There are always those times where you didn’t have the confidence to speak up and wish you had. 🙂
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Healthy boundaries are just soooo important in all relationships!
I loved that zentangle/art-work for the alphabet B!
– Chicky @ http://www.mysteriouskaddu.com
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Thanks Chicky! It was great visiting your website! I’m following on Twitter. 🙂
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Great reminder about the need for boundaries! Love your Zentangled letters!
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Thanks! I started doing the letters when I first signed up for AtoZ…… one each morning! Lots of fun! 🙂
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I didn’t appreciate how bad I was at this until I read this post …. especially #1 on the courage meme. Asking for what I need seems so hard to do.
Another great post.
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All four of them have been tough for me, Joanne! I hear that Brene Brown has a TED Talk on Boundaries. Hope to see it. 🙂
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Thanks – I think I may have seen it, but it’s worth looking up again 🙂
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I learned this in my 30’s after enduring a couple of years with a toxic business partner. I was angry all the time. Not just at him, but the world. It had a big impact on me. Now, I am pretty quick to walk away from toxic personalities. I enjoy the people I have chosen to be my friends.
Transformed Nonconformist
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Yes, I agree! Life’s too short! I’m enjoying following your AtoZ! 🙂
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Hi Mary, boundaries we draw for our own sanity sometimes are ones that become restrictive and growth-limiting. Knowing where to draw them and how to live within them is the challenge. Thought-provoking!
Cheers
@KalaRavi16 from
Relax-N-Rave
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Absolutely! It’s not easy to know when to draw that line. Thanks! I’m going to check out our blog! 🙂
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What a nice expanding and revealatory exercise! And 24 more to go! Time to step up guys and join these wonderful women in opening up and letting go!
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I like that …… Together we can all do great things! 🙂 Thanks, Arthur!
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Love the Brene Brown quote. I have not read anything by her yet, but I keep seeing all these “signs” that I must!
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I’ve viewed a couple of her Ted videos! Very down-to-earth and real! 🙂
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I saw an excellent talk by Brene Brown online about boundaries and how important they are – nice to see that you are on the same page 🙂 Leanne @ cresting the hill
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I’ve used a few of her videos for this Challenge. I check on the ‘boundaries’ talk. Thanks for mentioning it. 🙂
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Very powerful! Love it.
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Thank You, Aaliya!! 🙂
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So true Mary Lou. We all need to set boundaries and unfortunately, some of us don’t have the courage to do this until we reach midlife. Great post and looking forward to tomorrow Sue @Sizzling60 from
Sizzling Towards Sixty
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A lot of conditioning in the early years. Takes awhile to learn and make the commitment to yourself. 🙂 Thanks for your thoughts on this,Sue!
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Boundaries are essential for healthy relationships in every aspect of our lives. Great post!
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Yes ……. we need to teach this early on in children’s lives. Thanks! 🙂
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I have young children and notice daily the importance of setting clear consistent boundaries – everyone’s life is easier and happier for them.
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Wow.. B for Boundaries. It is amazing.. Very well written. That art of B was very well sketched. And that quote by Sarah is awesome. Have a great weekend. 🙂
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Thanks Jackie! I have her book, Simple Abundance …….. a real treasure! 🙂
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You are most welcome. .True a real treasure. . 🙂
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Thanks for the reminder about this important aspect of our lives. Blessings Joy
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You are very welcome, Joy! Have a wonderful weekend! 🙂
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The painted B at the top seems to be some sort of a rope. It’s a great symbol for what you wrote because sometimes protecting your boundaries while you want to please the others feels like dancing on the rope and trying to keep the balance. Nevertheless it’s worth it to find out how to do both while keeping your balance.
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Well said! Thanks for making that connection. You’re right…… It’s all about balance. 🙂
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Well said and I agree! Desire to please people is a killer as is avoiding confrontation. Thanks
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Yup …. Learning to stand up for ourselves. 🙂
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Très joli dessin. Bises.
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Merci, Carole! 🙂
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