Week One ~ Self-Love
The first prompt for the Kindness Challenge 2017 is Self-Love.
One of the suggestions for this week was to create a self-portrait and I remembered that I’d already done that back in 2015 for a 31-Days of January Art Challenge. On the 19th Day our prompt was to sketch a self-portrait. So I’m daring to share it: the five hearts are my five children and the quote “The greatest gift a woman can give to herself and her family is her own independence.” It came from the book ~ The Shell Seekers ~ A novel about a woman and her evolving relationship with her grown children ……… and adjusting to the cycles of life.
When I was growing up in the 40’s and 50’s, self-love was considered a negative thing. Being kind to myself was something I’ve learned to do over the years. I was told I was too rough on myself. The sense of unworthiness began at a young age when we were taught to think up all the ‘bad’ things we did when we went to confession every Saturday so that we could be worthy enough to receive communion on Sunday. The best I could come up with at 7 years old was something like ‘I answered back my mother’, ‘I ate a piece of chocolate during lent’ ‘I got angry with my brothers for teasing me’….etc. Sometimes we’d make up something! Love of God/Love of Neighbor and self-sacrifice were all tied up into one ball of yarn and somehow self-love was left out….. or so we thought. When I attempted to put myself first …… to say I mattered too …… it was thought to be selfish and unkind. Now I realize that being selfless vs being selfish are more about balance. That I am worthy and I do matter. It’s helped me to set healthy boundaries in my life when others pressure me to be and do what I’m not comfortable with. ‘Love your neighbor as yourself”. It’s helped me to trust my intuition and my heart going forward even though I sometimes wrestle with ‘Catholic Guilt’. 😀
“Shame is the most powerful, master emotion. It’s the fear that we’re not good enough. “
~ Brené Brown ~
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So ….. the mantra I’ve used this week comes from the video below:
“It’s Enough! It’s Plenty!”
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Some of us have too little self worth and are too selfless. Some of us have too much narcissism and take advantage of the kindness of those who are too nice. Seek the middle ground.
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Wow…I love the video you posted. I like the perspective about unconditional love. We hear so much about it and strive to achieve it. It’s comforting to know that perfection isn’t the goal, but giving our best effort is!
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I love that video too, Lulu! There’s a fine line between loving ‘unconditionally’ and being an enabler, I think. My love for my children is the closest I get to unconditional love. ❤
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Yes, and I’ve been on both sides of that line. Once again awareness is so important!
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Great reflection Mary Lou – yes, that Catholic guilt really had us well screwed up – it takes a lifetime of undoing. I have a friend here who’s an ex nun – she’s now in her 80s and quite unashamedly talks about the Mental Health days she now allows herself – at least one day a week to stay in bed and look after yourself. Maybe the nuns knew more than they were letting on lol
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Thanks for stopping by, Fil!! Yes, we all need to give ourselves a break from being to hard on ourselves. 🙂
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Fantastic post and particularly like that last quote. People so often forget that!
XxX
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Thanks, Patty! I’ve been there ……. done that …… I like that quote too! 🙂
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hahaha..yep me too. However, I think some of us think they are not worthy, so of us think it is not important and some of us are just stubborn…hihi
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What a rich post Mary Lou. The journey to self-love can be a wobbly one, especially when fraught with those early admonitions and judgments. I’m so glad you’ve found your balance. And what a wonderful self-portrait – I love it. The quote you used is perfect for this challenge as well.
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Thanks Deborah! I want to follow your blog. I’m on WordPress and I believe you’re on Blogger. Would I be better to follow the RSS Feed? or get an email? Thanks!
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A middle ground is usually the best place to be. If we try to see ourselves as others really see us and think of ourselves in terms of how we would like God to see us we will come closer to the place where we should be–where we are meant to be.
Life should be a continual reassessment of who we have been, who we are now, and where we hope to eventually end up.
Arlee Bird
Tossing It Out
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Keep moving forward, Lee! Thanks for these great thoughts! 🙂
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Thank you so much for sharing such an amazing reflection post! I absolutely love your self-portrait! I didn’t grow up Catholic but I did grow up in the church and I completely understand the guilt factor. It’s a very fine line between self-full and self-ish, but it’s one we each have to learn to balance. Here’s a video I think you might enjoy that I shared with another participant with similar guilt struggles about being self-full. Thanks again for sharing, Mary Lou ❤
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Thank you, Niki.. What Iyanla said about Self-Sacrifice really is something to think about. 🙂
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Yes, I thought that was very profound.
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Nice post and I agree with you self love is very important…
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Thank you for stopping by from Blog Share! 🙂
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