Me in the Middle of Week 3 Reflection ~ Self-Acceptance

 Kind Balance

 Week Three ~ Self-Acceptance

The third prompt for the Kindness Challenge 2017 is Self-Acceptance.

 I’ve accepted the fact that, at times in my life, I’ve loved too much.  While attempting to be the ‘perfect’ daughter’, the ‘perfect’ wife, the ‘perfect’ mother, etc., I’ve given over my power to others who might not deserve that trust.  In accepting this about myself, I’ve made a commitment to myself to trust my intuition and my need to set healthy boundaries and take a stand for myself.

How many times do I second-guess myself?  Let me count the ways!  At those time when I haven’t had confidence in myself and haven’t trusted my own decisions, I’ve contributed to co-dependent relationships by looking to others for affirmation.

“Perfectionism is the voice of the oppressor, the enemy of the people. It will keep you cramped and insane your whole life.”  

~ Anne Lamott ~

Trying to be perfect keeps us from really finding joy in our lives.  Whether it comes from the way we’ve been raised as a child or from our expectations of ourselves now as adults, perfectionism holds us back from spontaneity and being more emotionally responsive to others.  “Have no fear of perfection, you’ll never achieve it.”  Salvador Dali

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Lessons Learned from Week One and Week Two

********************Kindness owards ourselves

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I get the ‘do unto others’ part and realize I need to put a little more into the ‘as you would do unto yourself’ part.  The Self-Love Reflection (Week One) helped me to realize that I struggle with the awareness that some have too little self worth and are too selfless, while others have too much narcissism and take advantage of the kindness of those who are too nice.  Sometimes you can leave yourself behind when loving others.  It’s about balance.  I’m learning to set healthier boundaries and not give too much power to those who might not deserve it.  Nice place to be!  🙂

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“Want to be happy? Stop trying to be perfect.”

~ Brene Brown ~

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I never thought of Self-Compassion (Week Two) as a letting go of perfectionism.  And yet there it was in my own words ……………..“I was just thinking that when I internally feel self-compassion I’m comforted by those thoughts. It’s when I verbalize them to others that I sometimes feel the person hearing me is thinking I’m making excuses for myself.” ………………It made me realize that part of Self-Compassion is believing you’re worthy of that compassion and it’s not a weakness when you are being kind and gentle with yourself.   It really doesn’t matter what others are thinking or saying.  We’re never going to be ‘perfect’ and we’re never going to be able to avoid the possibility of criticism and judgment from others.

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~ You’re allowed to be both a Masterpiece and a Work in Progress simultaneously ~

Joanne Sharpe's Class 1

© Sketch by Mary Lou

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 ❤

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31 thoughts on “Me in the Middle of Week 3 Reflection ~ Self-Acceptance

  1. I loved the quotes you included in your post. Thanks for sharing! I have a poetry blog here on WordPress and today’s poem is about self acceptance and love in case you have time to look? Wishing you a fulfilling day ahead, Sam 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I could relate to all of this. Very helpful! I made a tiny mistake this evening in a group and felt worried about what people would think of me. Now, reading this, I’m like, who cares? Inner defiance can be a good thing for a recovering people pleaser.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hi Denyse! There’s a sidebar on the left of the page that opens. You can follow there. Or a link to follow is also on the bottom right that appear when you scroll up and down. Let me know if it works. Thanks! I’ll follow yours also. 🙂

      Like

  3. What a thoughtful reflection Mary Lou, and I really appreciate how you were able to connect your work of these three weeks together. And how I love your perspective – we’re allowed to be masterpieces AND works in progress. Perfect, perfect, perfect!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Four more to go, Deborah! This Kindness Challenge is taking us in all sorts of directions. Niki is a real help in getting us started with the prompts. 🙂

      Like

  4. A common denominator runs through all of our posts, ladies: What it means to be a woman, how much more is expected from us, and how we often place the needs of others above ours.

    Your words resonated, Mary Lou. Thanks for the heartfelt post.

    Like

  5. It’s funny how much easier it is for us to express compassion towards others. I agree that sometimes we just give too much to others. Self care is important! I’m also a perfectionist, so that makes self acceptance difficult. Keep working on it – we are on our way!

    Liked by 3 people

  6. What a wonderful reflection of your last weeks. Trusting your intuition is a huge part. From what I can read in your post, it seems that your intuition was always there, but you are now decidedly listening to its voice. That is wonderful!

    Liked by 2 people

    • It’s never too late to learn to listen to our intuition. When I look back I can see that it was there all along. It’s having the courage to act on it where we all need support. Thanks for the great message. 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

  7. “…and we’re never going to be able to avoid the possibility of criticism and judgement from others.”
    Such a good reminder Mary Lou. I think I have spent too much of my life avoiding situations where I was afraid of criticism or judgement. It is good to remember that it is not possible to avoid–especially if we’re stepping into the arena of life and playing full-out. Thanks!

    Liked by 2 people

    • Yes! I think perfectionism makes it difficult for us to hear criticism and judgment. Sometimes we need to listen and decide if it applies. If not …… we carry on and let it roll off our backs. 😀

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Beautifully expressed, you do need to cut yourself some slack and show love to yourself sometimes, no matter what you’re doing in life and how you think you’re performing at it. As you said, be content and you’ll never want!

    Liked by 3 people

    • When we follow our inner conviction/intuition I think we’re able to be at ease with our decisions instead of caring about appearing ‘perfect’ to others. Thanks for visiting, Nashra! 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

  9. Mary Lou you are so right about giving too much love sometimes. I’m in the middle of a falling out with our adult daughter because she took offence at something and is waiting for me to abjectly apologize (as I’ve done in the past) but this time I’m holding to my self respect and my boundaries. I want everyone to be happy and loved but no longer at my expense – a really tough lesson to learn and to live through!

    Liked by 4 people

    • I’ve learned that sometimes I have this need to fix things and then feel guilty if I can’t. You’ve said a lot of good things here, Leanne. As mothers we do want everyone to be happy and feel loved and it’s tough to let go of the need to fix it. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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