My Life Is My Masterpiece ~ Lessons Learned
My theme ~ Lessons Learned. I’ll be posting a word that begins with each letter of the alphabet that fits my theme. This blog/website has become one way to share about myself to my children, my grandchildren and my extended family who are scattered all over the country and the world. Hopefully, anyone who reads this will be in some way blessed by my throwing my words out onto the World Wide Web and into the Universe.
My About Page gives me the focus so that, as I age, I don’t forget what I worked so hard to learn. It’s going to be fun and challenging! I hope you’ll stick with me as I strive to meet my goal!!
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(c) Mary Lou Q
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Of all the lessons I’ve learned this is one of the lessons that took me a long time to learn…… And this is one of the most important lessons. The art of trusting your intuition and of learning how to spot manipulative behavior so boundaries can be set to protect yourself is not easy. As awareness has been growing more recently in how to recognize abusive behavior and how to respond to it, setting boundaries is a healthy way to go. In psychological talk it amounts to … “Please don’t feed the narcissist, you’ll only get your hand bitten.” It all gets mixed in with the desire to please people and/or to avoid confrontation by loving too much.
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“To create boundaries we must speak up. These moments can easily escalate into confrontation, which is why so many women stay quiet, rendered virtually mute by unexpressed rage and unable to articulate any needs at all.”
Sarah Ban Breathnach
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* Note: My letter sketches were made from ideas I found on Google Images. *
*** This Alphabet Series is a recycle of the posts I created while participating in the A to Z Challenge in 2016 ***
Setting healthy boundaries is so important. I find I’ve improved at this as I’ve got older.
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Still not always easy. I’ve learned more of what I need in my life and I’m more comfortable now in asking for it without the guilt. 🙂
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It’s a very vital skill and sometimes we learn it the hard way – speaking from experience 🙂
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Yes, there were times when I wish I had spoken up too. Live and learn. 🙂
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So many of us fear creating boundaries, as if defining ourselves and our values isn’t worth it. They don’t have to be rigid, but their existence is vital. Thanks for your thoughts.
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Thanks for this comment. I think not having confidence in your own needs and feeling that others know better than you is at the heart of that fear. Believing that you matter and deserve to be respected is one of the benefits of creating healthy boundaries. Live and learn, right? 🙂
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Yes this is a hard thing to do sometimes isn’t it Mary Lou? Learning to say ‘no’ and not feel guilty is something that took me many years to accomplish and even now sometimes I fall back into old ways. I loved the quote about not leaving yourself behind. So true!
Sue from Sizzling Towards 60 & Beyond
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Thanks Sue! I’m catching up on these comments that I missed! 🙂
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Thanks Mary Lou!
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Boundaries, the building of said, is a life skill. I certainly didn’t arrive into adult life able to do that naturally, but now am an expert at, to quote Nancy Reagan out of context, just saying NO! If we’re lucky, we all learn how to detach from the manipulators.
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Well said, Ally! It a skill that we learn from experience , and trial and error. 🙂
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