Letting Go
To ‘let go’ does not mean to stop caring. It means I can’t do it for someone else.
To ‘let go’ is not to cut myself off. It’s the realization I can’t control another.
To ‘let go’ is not to enable but to allow learning from natural consequences.
To ‘let go’ is to admit powerlessness which means the outcome is not in my hands.
To ‘let go’ is not to try to change or blame another. It’s to make the most of myself.
To ‘let go’ is not to care for but to care about.
To ‘let go’ is not to fix but to be supportive.
To ‘let go’ is not to judge but to allow another to be a human being.
To ‘let go’ is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes but to allow others to affect their own destinies.
To ‘let go’ is not to be protective. It’s to permit another to face reality.
To ‘let go’ is not to deny but to accept.
To ‘let go’ is not to nag, scold or argue but instead to search out my own shortcomings and correct them.
To ‘ let go’ is not to adjust everything to my desires but to take each day as it comes and cherish myself in it.
To ‘ let go’ is not to regret the past but to grow and live for the future.
To ‘ let go’ is to fear less and love more.
Author Unknown
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I want to fix things! I want to heal the world and make things all better. I recognized this about myself going back to when I was a young wife and mother. Yes, I’m a rescuer and a co-dependent. My heart fills with love and breaks when I see suffering in the world. Over and over I’ve had to remind myself to step back and be in the middle of things yet apart from it. Things that I can’t fix…that I have no control over need to be let go.
* Like what’s going on in my country right now. *
* Like the punch in the gut when we learned about predator priests in the Catholic Church. *
These things draw me in and break my heart. I want to fix it. Sometimes letting go means ‘holding space’ for someone or something when we’re on the threshold of change and we’re not sure where it’s taking us. Sometimes stepping back and allowing that space means remaining in relationship in a supportive way. Sometimes stepping back means leaving that relationship and setting healthy boundaries so you can move forward and recover.
Forgiveness is possible. Restoring relationship not always possible. Restoring trust is up to the one who betrayed that trust. We can’t fix things on our own.
To ‘ let go’ is to fear less and love more.
❤
Me In The Middle 
This is the hardest thing for me. I have to accept my powerlessness over the actions of others and just let it go. I’m not master of the universe. It’s taking forever for that to sink in.
Thanks for sharing! visiting from #MLSTL
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That’s how I feel too Marya. I’m learning over and over again. ❤
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“to let go is to fear less and to love more” … I couldn’t agree more, Mary Lou. Sometimes it is difficult for me to let go of the fear, but I’m working to cultivate the unconditional love.
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Not easy to do! I have a tendency to second guess myself. I like the idea of not trying to control the outcome. 🙂
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Wow, I love this: to let go is to fear less and love more. I’ve learned that lesson in a hard way in the past two years, but it’s liberating once you accept it as truth. XO #MLSTL
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I agree Christie! It is liberating. All we’re guaranteed is what’s in the moment. ❤
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To let go is to fear less and love more… Wow! That may be the most profound thing I’ve read in a long time! Thank you, Brenda #MLSTL
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It is profound isn’t it Brenda? When we let go of controlling the outcome there’s less fear and more love.
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Let it go is something I often struggle with. When in early retirement, someone told me I needed to let go of old (outdated, worn out, bad for me) things so my hands were open to receive new (better, good for me) things. There is a point in time when there is nothing in your hands and that is challenging. So I continue to work on it.
Right now, I am also working on letting go of other’s opinions & expectations. Another challenge!
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Yes! Acceptance comes with letting go Pat. I’ve found meditation really helps in returning to the present and letting go of all opinions and expectations. 🙂 I’ve got so many enjoyable past-times that I want to be free to do in my retirement.
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Your post hits home with me today because of my husband. He is going through cancer treatment but I can’t fix anything about it for him I can only support him in the decisions he makes. I am a retired oncology nurse and though I know what I am talking about when I give him advice it is up to him to accept or not my knowledge. Very hard.
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I hope all goes well with your husband’s cancer treatment! ❤ It's beautiful that you recognize that this is his journey and allow him the space that gives him dignity. I'm sure he's grateful to have you by his side.
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Wow! This really resonates with me. As an ex nurse I have always been the carer,counsellor, arranger, mediator, fixer…….and have struggled to let go as my own health probs have taken over and my independence has been lost. But I also see my 16 year old is becoming this person and whilst I wouldn’t want her to be self centred and constantly posting selfies, I do worry she spends too much time worrying about her friends, life & the universe!! And there I go again……thanks for sharing on Midlife link up! C x
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I can totally relate to what you say here Claire! It’s so easy to fall into the pattern of wanting to rescue or fix things that are out of our control especially when it comes to our children. And yes, health concerns force us to learn to step back and let these situations unfold without us jumping into the middle of it all. Thanks for sharing! ❤
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Letting go is a huge one for me Mary Lou – I want to fix everything and control the outcome (oldest child syndrome for me I think). But I’m learning to loosen my grip and not to hold on with such a tight fist – still a work in progress though.
#MLSTL 🙂
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Always a work in progress Leanne! There’s always something that comes up to blow me away and stir up my need to ‘fix it’. 🙂
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Hi, Mary Lou – I always want to fix things too! Thanks for sharing this poem, and the Beatles song. Both offer much wisdom! #MLSTL
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It’s taken me so long to learn this! I still have to remind myself. 🙂
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Letting go must be on our minds, Mary Lou. I have this on my list of topics to write about and Kim Duncan wrote about her experience of letting go this week. The more reminders the better in my book! Thanks for sharing and being part of the #MLSTL community and have a beautiful week. x
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It’s key to setting healthy boundaries Sue!
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