Me in the Middle ~ Kindness Without Expectation

Kindness Canva Diana


Diana, Princess of Wales, was one of my kindness role models.  Her life was lived by ‘daring greatly’.  The royal family was forever changed by the way she chose to live her life within the role of princess.  A favorite role model of Diana’s was Mother Teresa.  It was that inspiration that puts the most meaning into the above quote.   Both of them seemed to have mastered the art of making kindness a way of life.  If you read anything about their lives you realize that not always was their kindness returned or appreciated.  They seemed to have developed an ability to shake off these negatives and not let it influence their commitment to act with compassion and let go of expectation.  Not an easy thing to do.  Lessons learned ~ move on.

In my own life, I think sometimes kindness was a mixture of doing kind things in hopes of reaping some of the rewards that comes with the acts along with a desire to be there for others at a time of need.  “One hand washes the other.” ….. “You scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours.”  …….. “What goes round comes round.”  ….. “One good turn deserves another.”  This, in turn, had me focusing a bit more on what I might be getting out of the encounter instead of ‘random acts of kindness’ and letting go.  

Then I realized I didn’t like what was going on inside me when this happened.  It was taking away the joy and goodwill that I felt when I did something for someone.  I’ve found that through making a decision to act out of kindness and then letting go of whether it was reciprocated or not I’ve gained a sense of freedom.  The freedom to dare greatly and live greatly without being hindered by the tendency to judge others.

“If you judge people, you have no time to love them.”

~ Mother Teresa ~


“The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.” ~Samuel Johnson

~ 20 ways to give without expectations ~ The Tiny Buddha

buddha pixabay

Images by Pixabay

28 thoughts on “Me in the Middle ~ Kindness Without Expectation

  1. LOVELy post, Mary Lou!
    Princess Diana was one of my favorites. We can all learn much from the way she (bravely) lived life.
    I’m pinning to my #mlstl board to inspire me to focus on kindness every single day.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. MaryLou – Wow, so many quotes about “reciprocal kindness”. Made me realize how often I do think that way. Ugh. I need to be thinking more about committing random acts of kindness, not judging others, and even “turning the other cheek” a bit when I’m not treated with kindness (nice way of saying someone is rude). Visiting from #MLSTL

    Liked by 1 person

    • I know what you mean. That’s why I think it’s more freeing to just be kind for kindness sake. If I begin thinking about whether someone deserves it or not then it takes away from the benefits I receive. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Hi Mary Lou it is something that I think we all ponder at one time or another. The thought of karma and what goes around comes around. I agree though we get much for joy and satisfaction from giving without expecting anything in return. Thank you for another lovely reminder and sharing with us at #MLSTL. Have a beautiful day. xx

    Liked by 1 person

    • Sometimes I have trouble with the idea of karma Sue. It seems there are so many people walking around that never get back the negatives that they dole out. 🙂


  4. Kindness does need to be a reward in itself doesn’t it. One of my favourite things to do (but I don’t always remember) is to compliment a complete stranger. It is usually a complete shock to them and leaves both people feeling good but without expectation on my behalf. I must get back to it.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I was a big fan of Princess Diana’s too. I was devastated when we lost her. I agree that kindness without any expectation of reward in any way is the best kind of kindness!

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  6. Around the holidays we used to challenge our kids to do what we called “compassion capers” – challenging them to do some random act of service for a family member or neighbor. I think they benefitted from it. Today it seems relationships are so transactional.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. You’re so right Mary Lou – as soon as expectations of reciprocity are taken out of the mix, kindness becomes more of a joy and just a lovely gift from us to others (and to ourselves!)

    Liked by 1 person

  8. This is beautiful! Today in my guided journal I was instructed to write about what my priorities are and if I show that they are my priorities without any expectation of return! That is true beauty. When you can put good out into the universe just because 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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