Me In The Middle of Being a Single Mom

 

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© Mary Lou Q

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“Everything comes to us that belongs to us, if we create the capacity to receive it.”

~ Rabindranath Tagore ~

This path of mine has brought me to and through so much that has given my life meaning, richness and purpose.  I want to apply all that I’ve learned ~ I want to create within myself the capacity to receive all that belongs to me with open arms and open heart.

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One of my sons shared with me a memory of when he was a teenager.  He told me that when he saw the movie ~ E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial, ‘the Mom from E.T.’ reminded him of me.

I remembered the movie and how the message captivated all of us during the early Eighties.

“Turn on your heartlight.  Let it shine wherever you go.”

Click here to listen ♥ :  Heartlight ~ Neil Diamond ~ E.T.

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“The Mom from E.T.” was a single mom raising her children during that time just as I was.  So I googled to refresh my memory and learn more about her.  It was a time for me when building a sense of safety and security for my family was very important to me and E.T. touched my heart.

What I found in my google search was a video of an interview with Dee Wallace (The Mom from E.T.) reflecting back thirty years and how the movie continued to touch the hearts of people down through the years.  What I loved is how she sees the movie as a call to Love instead of Fear and Hate.  Speaking of how 9/11 has affected all of us, she expressed her own desire to see us recapture that belief that there’s more goodness in the world than there is evil:

“If we continue to live in the fear and the protecting that it made us build up, we stop creating who we are… we shut all our light down… and then love isn’t prevalent …. and then we literally begin creating the world we don’t want.  If you want a world of love, you’ve got to be love.”

I see this as true at both a national level and at a personal level.  It was the conclusion I came to as a single mom facing the challenges ahead of me and recovering from abandonment that made things look very hopeless.  If I continued to live in the fear and the protecting that it made me build up, I would have stopped creating who I was… shutting down my light… and love wouldn’t have prevailed.  Instead of creating a sense of love and support within my family, it would have begun to create a world I didn’t want.  I wanted my children to come through with a sense of acceptance and belonging which they deserved, and not a sense of being outcasts because they weren’t in a ‘whole’ family.

So. as I stand upon this mountaintop overlooking the possibilities ahead of me at this time in my life, I recall the message of E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial.   I hope to be able to have the courage to speak and act in a way that truly represents what I’ve come to believe.    

“Turn on your heartlight ~ Open your heart ~ Keep the light on ~ You are the light.” 

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Me In The Middle of Being a Single Mom

 

DSCN3199 (6)

© Mary Lou Q

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I feel like I’m standing on top of a tall mountain as I anticipate the coming of this new year ~ 2016.

“Everything comes to us that belongs to us, if we create the capacity to receive it.”

~ Rabindranath Tagore ~

This path of mine has brought me to and through so much, and here I am entering into another year to apply all that I’ve learned ~ through all that has given my life meaning, richness and purpose.  I want to create within myself the capacity to receive all that belongs to me with open arms and heart, and to be ready to take that leap when the timing is right.

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Over the Christmas holiday, one of my sons shared with me a memory of when he was a teenager.  He told me that when he saw the movie ~ E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial, ‘the Mom from E.T.’ reminded him of me.

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Me In The Middle Of Thinking Out Loud

(c) Mary Lou Q

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The other day I received an email about a new book~ Turn Your Mate into Your Soulmateavailable on 12/29/15.  In the video the author says  50% of first marriages end in divorce, 67% of second marriages and 74% of third marriages end in divorce!   It takes an eternal optomist to keep working on enhancing marriage and remarriage with those statistics!

I was reminded of my last post “What Makes a Marriage Successful (And why Divorce Does Not Mean Failure”.  (If you haven’t seen it, check it out! https://meinthemiddlewrites.wordpress.com/2015/10/21/what-makes-a-marriage-successful-and-why-divorce-does-not-mean-failure/)

While I think it’s important to learn what makes a successful marriage and believe in the value of marriage in our society, such as marrying before you have kids and sticking around to parent the kids you conceive,  I also think a major shift needs to take place where married, divorced or single are all highly valued lifestyles.  I know we say that this is already so, but culturally we still idealize marriage as the ultimate ideal goal in relationship commitment even though there are clear signs of trouble.  There are many who are single and divorced who are living life in the fullest while recognizing and learning about themselves and others in different levels of committed relationships.  Isn’t it much better to support and build up all relationships regardless of whether married, divorced or single?  Besides, it’s fun ‘turning your partner into a soulmate’ no matter where the relationship lies.  It’s  much better than having a ‘cellmate’ in a marriage commitment. Continue reading

Me In The Middle of Creating My Life

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 A New Creation

~ A poem about finding expression through art ~

One thing that tough times have taught me is to look to the center of things….. the center of me where I hope to find a way to move forward through whatever is going on in my life. It’s not always easy, especially when there’s a lot going on and things get really overwhelming. What works for others is not always the answer for you.

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