Me In The Middle Of Thinking Out Loud

(c) Mary Lou Q

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The other day I received an email about a new book~ Turn Your Mate into Your Soulmateavailable on 12/29/15.  In the video the author says  50% of first marriages end in divorce, 67% of second marriages and 74% of third marriages end in divorce!   It takes an eternal optomist to keep working on enhancing marriage and remarriage with those statistics!

I was reminded of my last post “What Makes a Marriage Successful (And why Divorce Does Not Mean Failure”.  (If you haven’t seen it, check it out! https://meinthemiddlewrites.wordpress.com/2015/10/21/what-makes-a-marriage-successful-and-why-divorce-does-not-mean-failure/)

While I think it’s important to learn what makes a successful marriage and believe in the value of marriage in our society, such as marrying before you have kids and sticking around to parent the kids you conceive,  I also think a major shift needs to take place where married, divorced or single are all highly valued lifestyles.  I know we say that this is already so, but culturally we still idealize marriage as the ultimate ideal goal in relationship commitment even though there are clear signs of trouble.  There are many who are single and divorced who are living life in the fullest while recognizing and learning about themselves and others in different levels of committed relationships.  Isn’t it much better to support and build up all relationships regardless of whether married, divorced or single?  Besides, it’s fun ‘turning your partner into a soulmate’ no matter where the relationship lies.  It’s  much better than having a ‘cellmate’ in a marriage commitment. Continue reading