Me in the Middle of Week 3 Reflection ~ Self-Acceptance

 Kind Balance

 Week Three ~ Self-Acceptance

The third prompt for the Kindness Challenge 2017 is Self-Acceptance.

 I’ve accepted the fact that, at times in my life, I’ve loved too much.  While attempting to be the ‘perfect’ daughter’, the ‘perfect’ wife, the ‘perfect’ mother, etc., I’ve given over my power to others who might not deserve that trust.  In accepting this about myself, I’ve made a commitment to myself to trust my intuition and my need to set healthy boundaries and take a stand for myself.

How many times do I second-guess myself?  Let me count the ways!  At those time when I haven’t had confidence in myself and haven’t trusted my own decisions, I’ve contributed to co-dependent relationships by looking to others for affirmation.

“Perfectionism is the voice of the oppressor, the enemy of the people. It will keep you cramped and insane your whole life.”  

~ Anne Lamott ~

Trying to be perfect keeps us from really finding joy in our lives.  Whether it comes from the way we’ve been raised as a child or from our expectations of ourselves now as adults, perfectionism holds us back from spontaneity and being more emotionally responsive to others.  “Have no fear of perfection, you’ll never achieve it.”  Salvador Dali

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Lessons Learned from Week One and Week Two

********************Kindness owards ourselves

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I get the ‘do unto others’ part and realize I need to put a little more into the ‘as you would do unto yourself’ part.  The Self-Love Reflection (Week One) helped me to realize that I struggle with the awareness that some have too little self worth and are too selfless, while others have too much narcissism and take advantage of the kindness of those who are too nice.  Sometimes you can leave yourself behind when loving others.  It’s about balance.  I’m learning to set healthier boundaries and not give too much power to those who might not deserve it.  Nice place to be!  🙂

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“Want to be happy? Stop trying to be perfect.”

~ Brene Brown ~

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I never thought of Self-Compassion (Week Two) as a letting go of perfectionism.  And yet there it was in my own words ……………..“I was just thinking that when I internally feel self-compassion I’m comforted by those thoughts. It’s when I verbalize them to others that I sometimes feel the person hearing me is thinking I’m making excuses for myself.” ………………It made me realize that part of Self-Compassion is believing you’re worthy of that compassion and it’s not a weakness when you are being kind and gentle with yourself.   It really doesn’t matter what others are thinking or saying.  We’re never going to be ‘perfect’ and we’re never going to be able to avoid the possibility of criticism and judgment from others.

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~ You’re allowed to be both a Masterpiece and a Work in Progress simultaneously ~

Joanne Sharpe's Class 1

© Sketch by Mary Lou

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 ❤

Kindness Challenge Prompt ~Week 3 ~ Self-Acceptance

Kindness Challenge Participant


And here we go!
The third week prompt and all the information about the Kindness Challenge is in this post. You can join in at any time and post on any day of the week. I’ll be posting on my usual day ~ Friday.

The Richness of a Simple Life

Attention Kindness Challenge participants!

In this post, you’ll find:

  • this week’s theme prompt & exercise
  • the reflection post prompt questions for this week and the end of the self-kindness portion of the challenge
  • suggested reading & video
  • a screensaver for this week’s theme

If you haven’t signed up for the challenge yet and would like details about the challenge, click here.

Don’t forget to bookmark this post so you can link your reflection post here once you write it at the end of the week. 

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Me in the Middle of Week 2 Reflection ~ Self-Compassion

Kindness Challenge Participant

 

Week Two ~ Self-Compassion

The second prompt for the Kindness Challenge 2017 is Self-Compassion.

Compassion ~ Brene Brown

For Mother’s Day I went to the church service at my son and daughter-in-law’s place of worship.  We were a group of eight so getting ready in the morning and getting out the door was a bit of a challenge.  My son was ready before all of us and just smiled and said “It’s an exercise in patience.”  When we arrived for the service, we were late and had to tip-toe in during the Mother’s Day sermon.  It was a sermon on ‘Patience’.  😀  As we made our way to our seats, the pastor was saying “And if we find ourselves always arriving late, we need to have patience with ourselves.”  It really gave us all a laugh!  😀  It helped to give us ‘self-compassion’ and lightened up the moment.

What I took away from that sermon was the message on a photo on the huge overhead screen.  The pastor was sharing the story of what was written on Ruth Bell Graham’s tombstone.  It was a message of Self-Compassion and Humility.  It was a reminder that we’re all ‘under construction’ in this life.

“End of Construction – Thank you for your patience.”

Ruth Bell Graham

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I remember a time when things were particularly stressful in my life and I felt I wasn’t measuring up to my expectations for myself.  I was being my own worst critic and definitely much too hard on myself.  Then I read the quote below in a book I was reading for inspiration.  It was such a kind and compassionate image of God being there with us through it all.

“Please be patient. God isn’t finished with me yet….”

Self-Compassion Meditation

 

~ Chinese Symbol sketch by Mary Lou ~

Kindness Challenge Prompt ~ Week 2 ~ Self-Compassion

Kindness Challenge Participant

And here we go!
The second week prompt and all the information about the Kindness Challenge is in this post. You can join in at any time and post on any day of the week. I’ll be posting on my usual day ~ Friday.

 

The Richness of a Simple Life

Attention Kindness Challenge participants!

In this post, you’ll find:

  • this week’s  theme prompt & exercise
  • video about the difference between self-ish and self-full
  • the reflection post prompt questions

If you haven’t signed up for the challenge yet and would like details about the challenge, click here.

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Me in the Middle of Week 1 Reflection ~ Self-Love

Kindness Challenge Participant

Week One ~ Self-Love

The first prompt for the Kindness Challenge 2017 is Self-Love.

One of the suggestions for this week was to create a self-portrait and I remembered that I’d already done that back in 2015 for a 31-Days of  January Art Challenge.  On the 19th Day our prompt was to sketch a self-portrait.  So I’m daring to share it:  the five hearts are my five children and the quote “The greatest gift a woman can give to herself and her family is her own independence.”  It came from the book ~ The Shell Seekers ~ A novel about a woman and her evolving relationship with her grown children ……… and adjusting to the cycles of life.

#AJWchallenge Jan Day 19 #2

When I was growing up in the 40’s and 50’s, self-love was considered a negative thing.  Being kind to myself was something I’ve learned to do over the years.  I was told I was too rough on myself.  The sense of unworthiness began at a young age when we were taught to think up all the ‘bad’ things we did when we went to confession every Saturday so that we could be worthy enough to receive communion on Sunday.  The best I could come up with at 7 years old was something like ‘I answered back my mother’, ‘I ate a piece of chocolate during lent’ ‘I got angry with my brothers for teasing me’….etc.   Sometimes we’d make up something!   Love of God/Love of Neighbor and self-sacrifice were all tied up into one ball of yarn and somehow self-love was left out….. or so we thought.  When I attempted to put myself first …… to say I mattered too …… it was thought to be selfish and unkind.  Now I realize that being selfless vs being selfish are more about balance.  That I am worthy and I do matter.  It’s helped me to set healthy boundaries in my life when others pressure me to be and do what I’m not comfortable with.  ‘Love your neighbor as yourself”.    It’s helped me to trust my intuition and my heart going forward even though I sometimes wrestle with ‘Catholic Guilt’.  😀

Shame is the most powerful, master emotion. It’s the fear that we’re not good enough. “

~ Brené Brown ~

So ….. the mantra I’ve used this week comes from the video below:

It’s Enough!  It’s Plenty!”

Dear Human

Some of us have too little self worth and are too selfless. Some of us have too much narcissism and take advantage of the kindness of those who are too nice.  Seek the middle ground.

Be there for others

#RevofKindness