Me in the Middle ~ Self-Acceptance

 Kind Balance

 Self-Acceptance

 I’ve accepted the fact that, at times in my life, I’ve loved too much.  While attempting to be the ‘perfect’ daughter’, the ‘perfect’ wife, the ‘perfect’ mother, etc., I’ve given over my power to others who might not deserve that trust.  In accepting this about myself, I’ve made a commitment to trust my intuition and my need to set healthy boundaries and take a stand for myself.

How many times do I second-guess myself?  Let me count the ways!  At those time when I haven’t had confidence in myself and haven’t trusted my own decisions, I’ve contributed to co-dependent relationships by looking to others for affirmation.

“Perfectionism is the voice of the oppressor, the enemy of the people. It will keep you cramped and insane your whole life.”  

~ Anne Lamott ~

Trying to be perfect keeps us from really finding joy in our lives.  Whether it comes from the way we’ve been raised as a child or from our expectations of ourselves now as adults, perfectionism holds us back from spontaneity and being more emotionally responsive to others.  

“Have no fear of perfection, you’ll never achieve it.”  Salvador Dali

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I get the ‘do unto others’ part and realize I need to put a little more into the ‘as you would do unto yourself’ part.  Self-Love helps me to realize that I struggle with the awareness that some have too little self worth and are too selfless, while others have too much narcissism and take advantage of the kindness of those who are too nice.  Sometimes you can leave yourself behind when loving others.  It’s about balance.  I’m learning to set healthier boundaries and not give too much power to those who might not deserve it.  Nice place to be!  🙂

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“Want to be happy? Stop trying to be perfect.”

~ Brene Brown ~

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I never thought of Self-Compassion as a letting go of perfectionism.  And yet there it was in my own words ……………..“I was just thinking that when I internally feel self-compassion I’m comforted by those thoughts. It’s when I verbalize them to others that I sometimes feel the person hearing me is thinking I’m making excuses for myself.” ………………It made me realize that part of Self-Compassion is believing you’re worthy of that compassion and it’s not a weakness when you are being kind and gentle with yourself.   It really doesn’t matter what others are thinking or saying.  We’re never going to be ‘perfect’ and we’re never going to be able to avoid the possibility of criticism and judgment from others.

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~ You’re allowed to be both a Masterpiece and a Work in Progress simultaneously ~

Joanne Sharpe's Class 1

© Sketch by Mary Lou

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Me in the Middle of Lessons Learned ~ Letter Y

My Life Is My Masterpiece ~ Lessons Learned

My theme ~ Lessons Learned.  I’ll be posting a word that begins with each letter of the alphabet that fits my theme.   This blog/website has become one way to share about myself to my children, my grandchildren and my extended family who are scattered all over the country and the world.  Hopefully, anyone who reads this will be in some way blessed by my throwing my words out onto the World Wide Web and into the Universe.  

 My About Page gives me the focus so that, as I age, I don’t forget what I worked so hard to learn.  It’s going to be fun and challenging!   I hope you’ll stick with me as I strive to meet my goal!!

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 DSCN3263

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 “We contain all the ages we have ever been.” 

Anne Lamott ♥

Aging

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Forever Young ~ Joan Baez

 
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Aging #2

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 * Note:  My letter sketches were made from ideas I found on Google Images. *

****  This Alphabet Series is a recycle of the posts I created while participating in the A to Z Challenge in 2016 ***

Me in the Middle of Lessons Learned ~ Letter P

My theme ~ Lessons Learned.  I’ll be posting a word that begins with each letter of the alphabet that fits my theme.   This blog/website has become one way to share about myself to my children, my grandchildren and my extended family who are scattered all over the country and the world.  Hopefully, anyone who reads this will be in some way blessed by my throwing my words out onto the World Wide Web and into the Universe.  

 My About Page gives me the focus so that, as I age, I don’t forget what I worked so hard to learn.  It’s going to be fun and challenging!   I hope you’ll stick with me as I strive to meet my goal!!

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DSCN3267

“Want to be happy? Stop trying to be perfect.”

Brene Brown

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Perfectionism ~ Brene Brown

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Trying to be perfect keeps us from really finding joy in our lives.  Whether it comes from the way we’ve been raised as a child or from our expectations of ourselves now as adults, perfectionism holds us back from spontaneity and being more emotionally responsive to others.  “Have no fear of perfection, you’ll never achieve it.”  Salvador Dali

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Joanne Sharpe's Class 1

(c) Mary Lou Q

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Perfectionism #2

“Perfectionism is the voice of the oppressor, the enemy of the people. It will keep you cramped and insane your whole life.”  

Anne Lamott

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* Note:  My letter sketches were made from ideas I found on Google Images. *

****  This Alphabet Series is a recycle of the posts I created while participating in the A to Z Challenge in 2016 ***

Me in the Middle of a JFK Revisit

One-Inch Picture Frame (1)

JFK Revisit

While looking for a new inspiration in my posts, I picked up Anne Lamott’s book ~ Bird by Bird ~ “Some Instructions on Writing and Life”.  One idea she had was to write short assignments ~ about as much as you can see through a One-Inch Picture Frame

My second short assignment was writing for five minutes about as much as I can see looking through a one-inch picture frame of revisiting  John F. Kennedy’s Assassination.

On November 22, 1963, two months to the day before our first child was born, I was standing in the living room ironing my husband’s shirts while watching television.  The screen suddenly was filled with the news that President Kennedy had been shot in Texas.  Life changed from that point on for all of us in America.  As I stood in stunned silence watching the news unfold over the following days, I saw images of Jackie Kennedy and her small son, John, standing by the roadside as the fallen president’s casket passed by.  I felt like I knew Jackie personally, as we had both experienced miscarriages and heartaches in our lost pregnancies.  She gave me hope that I too would be a mother one day, just as her husband gave us hope that we, as a country, could overcome our adversities and become greater still.

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And now, over fifty  years later, “The documents—441 files that had previously been withheld entirely, along with 3,369 other documents that had been previously released only in part—were made public under terms of a 1992 law that requires the unsealing of all JFK assassination-related documents by October, the law’s 25-year deadline.”  And the interesting part of all this is that our current president has the power to block the unsealing of some controversial documents regarding the CIA and the FBI.  It’s possible that he will be asked to block some that are being released by the October deadline. “It does not reflect well on the legacy of either the CIA or the commission that, half a century after those gunshots rang out in Dealey Plaza, the newly released documents suggest that at least some of those conspiracy theories might be true.”

~ Stay tuned for the unfolding of the Real Camelot ~

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How the CIA Came to Doubt the Official Story of JFK’s Murder

What we know about the newly released JFK assassination records—and those yet to come

11-22-63 #3

Sketch by Mary Lou

Me in the Middle of School Lunches

One-Inch Picture Frame (1)

School Lunches

While looking for a new inspiration in my posts.  I picked up Anne Lamott’s book ~ Bird by Bird ~ “Some Instructions on Writing and Life”.  One idea she had was to write short assignments ~ about as much as you can see through a One-Inch Picture Frame

My first short assignment was writing for five minutes about as much as I can see looking through a one-inch picture frame of school lunches at my parochial school during the early fifties:

School lunch #2

The first five minutes of writing got me started ……………………

As I look into the one-inch picture frame of my memory of parochial school lunches in the early fifties, there isn’t much to see.  Just me …. sitting at a long lunch table in the old auditorium.  I can’t see who the classmates are that I’m sitting with.  My table is the first one near the door and I’m facing 3 or 4 more rows of tables filled with noisy kids eating their lunch.

We kept our coats and lunches in the cloakroom near the auditorium…. no lockers …. just hooks for our coats and a shelf above for our lunches.  I didn’t have a lunch box and my mother packed our sandwich in a brown paper bag.

(That’s about five minutes of writing …… 😀 ……… so I kept going for a half hour as my memory prodded me.)

There were no refrigerators so usually we carried cream cheese and jelly,  PB&J,  cheese slices w/ mustard, sliced tomato with  one leaf of lettuce and mayo, liverwurst or bologna sandwiches.  Everyone’s sandwich was made with white Wonder bread and you were weird if you had whole grain wheat, pumpernickel or rye.   My sandwich was usually flattened and mushed by the time I got to eat it.  Saran Wrap was just becoming popular in the early 50’s so my mother was still using waxed paper to wrap our sandwiches and without the cling factor they didn’t always travel well from home to school. There were a few kids that brought soup in a thermos.  Ugh!  😦  Snacks were an apple, banana or hard-boiled egg.  The auditorium kitchen sold us 1/2 pint cartons of milk.

The Mother’s Guild (mine included) would help out with supervising the kids .  We didn’t have cafeteria style lunches back then when I was around 10 years old.  The auditorium still had an old stage where they used to have class plays and events.  It was no longer used and all events were held in the church hall which was next door to the parochial school.  One of the nuns told us that the old stage in our auditorium had a pit behind the curtain where all the bad kids were thrown into.  I think even back then I was a bit of a skeptic and I didn’t really believe her.  😉

After lunch we were filed out into the schoolyard for recess time.  A few lucky kids were chosen to sell snacks to the rest of us.  They carried them around in a flat cardboard container that looked like the cover of a box.   I remember wanting to be chosen to do that and was afraid I wouldn’t be able to give change correctly.  The rest of us would bring our jump ropes, rubber balls, yoyos and trading cards outside with us until the lunch hour was over.

One of the nuns would then signal that it was time to line up again to go inside to the classroom.  Everyone would get in line and became real quiet.  Then we’d wait for the sound of the clicker to begin the march inside.

Clicker

 

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“………. tell me about school lunches …… at parochial schools, private schools, twenty years earlier than mine, or ten years later, in Southern California or New York.  And they always turn out to be similar to my middle-class Northern California public school lunches.  But in important ways they are different, too, and this is even more interesting, for the obvious reason that when we study the differences, we see in bolder relief what we have in common”  ~ Anne Lamott ~

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~ Any thoughts on your school lunch experience?  I’d love to read them in the comments below! ~

 

 

*Images from Pixabay*