Me in the Middle ~ Self-Acceptance

 Kind Balance

 Self-Acceptance

 I’ve accepted the fact that, at times in my life, I’ve loved too much.  While attempting to be the ‘perfect’ daughter’, the ‘perfect’ wife, the ‘perfect’ mother, etc., I’ve given over my power to others who might not deserve that trust.  In accepting this about myself, I’ve made a commitment to trust my intuition and my need to set healthy boundaries and take a stand for myself.

How many times do I second-guess myself?  Let me count the ways!  At those time when I haven’t had confidence in myself and haven’t trusted my own decisions, I’ve contributed to co-dependent relationships by looking to others for affirmation.

“Perfectionism is the voice of the oppressor, the enemy of the people. It will keep you cramped and insane your whole life.”  

~ Anne Lamott ~

Trying to be perfect keeps us from really finding joy in our lives.  Whether it comes from the way we’ve been raised as a child or from our expectations of ourselves now as adults, perfectionism holds us back from spontaneity and being more emotionally responsive to others.  

“Have no fear of perfection, you’ll never achieve it.”  Salvador Dali

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I get the ‘do unto others’ part and realize I need to put a little more into the ‘as you would do unto yourself’ part.  Self-Love helps me to realize that I struggle with the awareness that some have too little self worth and are too selfless, while others have too much narcissism and take advantage of the kindness of those who are too nice.  Sometimes you can leave yourself behind when loving others.  It’s about balance.  I’m learning to set healthier boundaries and not give too much power to those who might not deserve it.  Nice place to be!  🙂

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“Want to be happy? Stop trying to be perfect.”

~ Brene Brown ~

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I never thought of Self-Compassion as a letting go of perfectionism.  And yet there it was in my own words ……………..“I was just thinking that when I internally feel self-compassion I’m comforted by those thoughts. It’s when I verbalize them to others that I sometimes feel the person hearing me is thinking I’m making excuses for myself.” ………………It made me realize that part of Self-Compassion is believing you’re worthy of that compassion and it’s not a weakness when you are being kind and gentle with yourself.   It really doesn’t matter what others are thinking or saying.  We’re never going to be ‘perfect’ and we’re never going to be able to avoid the possibility of criticism and judgment from others.

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~ You’re allowed to be both a Masterpiece and a Work in Progress simultaneously ~

Joanne Sharpe's Class 1

© Sketch by Mary Lou

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 ❤

Me in the Middle ~ Self-Love

“The greatest gift a woman can give to herself and her family is her own independence.”

  This quote came from the book ~ The Shell Seekers ~ A novel  by Rosamunde Pilcher about a woman and her evolving relationship with her grown children ……… and adjusting to the cycles of life.

I did a self-portrait sketch of myself (kind of, sort of 😀 ) describing the different qualities I saw in myself and using the above quote as a guide.

#AJWchallenge Jan Day 19 #2

When I was growing up in the 40’s and 50’s, self-love was considered a negative thing.  Being kind to myself was something I’ve learned to do over the years.  I have been told I am too rough on myself.  This sense of unworthiness began at a young age when we were taught to think up all the ‘bad’ things we did when we went to confession every Saturday so that we could be worthy enough to receive communion on Sunday.  The best I could come up with at 7 years old was something like ‘I answered back my mother’, ‘I ate a piece of chocolate during lent’ ‘I got angry with my brothers for teasing me’….etc.   Sometimes we’d make up something!   Love of God/Love of Neighbor and self-sacrifice were all tied up into one ball of yarn and somehow self-love was left out….. or so we thought.  When I attempted to put myself first …… to say I mattered too …… it was thought to be selfish and unkind.  Now I realize that being selfless vs being selfish are more about balance.  That I am worthy and I do matter.  It’s helped me to set healthy boundaries in my life when others pressure me to be and do what I’m not comfortable with.  ‘Love your neighbor as yourself”.    It’s helped me to trust my intuition and my heart going forward even though I sometimes wrestle with ‘Catholic Guilt’.  😀

Shame is the most powerful, master emotion. It’s the fear that we’re not good enough. “

~ Brené Brown ~

It’s Enough!  It’s Plenty!”

Dear Human

Some of us have too little self worth and are too selfless. Some of us have too much narcissism and take advantage of the kindness of those who are too nice.  Seek the middle ground.

Be there for others

Me in the Middle of Lessons Learned ~Letter V

My Life Is My Masterpiece ~ Lessons Learned

My theme ~ Lessons Learned.  I’ll be posting a word that begins with each letter of the alphabet that fits my theme.   This blog/website has become one way to share about myself to my children, my grandchildren and my extended family who are scattered all over the country and the world.  Hopefully, anyone who reads this will be in some way blessed by my throwing my words out onto the World Wide Web and into the Universe.  

 My About Page gives me the focus so that, as I age, I don’t forget what I worked so hard to learn.  It’s going to be fun and challenging!   I hope you’ll stick with me as I strive to meet my goal!!

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“What makes you vulnerable, makes you beautiful.” – Brené Brown

 

THIS ^^^^^^ IS THE MOST IMPORTANT VIDEO IN MY LESSONS LEARNED

I’m going to share, once again, my favorite quotes by Brene in this video.  Where did we pick up the message that we’re not worthy ~ that we’re not enough.  We each have to look at our own lives and find the answers to that.  I like how she extends this into our politics and our religions.

Whole-hearted people have a sense of courage… the courage to be imperfect…. the compassion to be kind to themselves first and then to others.  They had connection as a result of their authenticity.

Vulnerability is kind of the core of shame and fear and our struggle for worthiness, but it appears it’s also the birthplace of joy, of creativity, of belonging and of love.

We numb vulnerability…. You cannot selectively numb emotion.  You can’t say here’s the bad stuff… here’s the vulnerability, here’s grief, here’s shame, here’s fear, here’s disappointment.  I don’t want to feel these.  (You can’t numb those hard feelings without numbing the other affect or emotion. When we numb those, we numb joy, gratitude, we numb happiness.)

We make everything that is uncertain, certain.  Religion has gone from a belief in faith and mystery to certainty.  ‘I’m right, you’re wrong! Shut Up!’

This is what politics looks like today.  There’s no discourse.  There’s no conversation.  There’s just blame.

You’re imperfect . . . and you are wired for struggle but you are worthy of love and belonging.

My way of dealing with pain and vulnerability was to stuff it down and leave it unexpressed until I had to take the time to bring it all into the open and talk about it and deal with the pain.  We need to tell our stories and to share them with others who will be inspired to do the same.

 “When you stand and share your story in an empowering way, your story will heal you and your story will heal someone else.”  ~ Iyana Vanzant

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The Heart and The Bottle ~ Oliver Jeffers

(Click on the link above)

A tender illustrated fable of what happens when we deny our difficult emotions.  A gentle reminder of what we stand to lose when we lock away loss.

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Vulnerability #3

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* Note:  My letter sketches were made from ideas I found on Google Images. *

****  This Alphabet Series is a recycle of the posts I created while participating in the A to Z Challenge in 2016 ***

Me in the Middle of Lessons Learned ~ Letter P

My theme ~ Lessons Learned.  I’ll be posting a word that begins with each letter of the alphabet that fits my theme.   This blog/website has become one way to share about myself to my children, my grandchildren and my extended family who are scattered all over the country and the world.  Hopefully, anyone who reads this will be in some way blessed by my throwing my words out onto the World Wide Web and into the Universe.  

 My About Page gives me the focus so that, as I age, I don’t forget what I worked so hard to learn.  It’s going to be fun and challenging!   I hope you’ll stick with me as I strive to meet my goal!!

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“Want to be happy? Stop trying to be perfect.”

Brene Brown

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Perfectionism ~ Brene Brown

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Trying to be perfect keeps us from really finding joy in our lives.  Whether it comes from the way we’ve been raised as a child or from our expectations of ourselves now as adults, perfectionism holds us back from spontaneity and being more emotionally responsive to others.  “Have no fear of perfection, you’ll never achieve it.”  Salvador Dali

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Joanne Sharpe's Class 1

(c) Mary Lou Q

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Perfectionism #2

“Perfectionism is the voice of the oppressor, the enemy of the people. It will keep you cramped and insane your whole life.”  

Anne Lamott

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* Note:  My letter sketches were made from ideas I found on Google Images. *

****  This Alphabet Series is a recycle of the posts I created while participating in the A to Z Challenge in 2016 ***

Me in the Middle of Lessons Learned ~ Letter G

My Life Is My Masterpiece ~ Lessons Learned

My theme ~ Lessons Learned.  I’ll be posting a word that begins with each letter of the alphabet that fits my theme.   This blog/website has become one way to share about myself to my children, my grandchildren and my extended family who are scattered all over the country and the world.  Hopefully, anyone who reads this will be in some way blessed by my throwing my words out onto the World Wide Web and into the Universe.  

 My About Page gives me the focus so that, as I age, I don’t forget what I worked so hard to learn.  It’s going to be fun and challenging!   I hope you’ll stick with me as I strive to meet my goal!!

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“I don’t have to chase extraordinary moments to find happiness–it’s right in front of me if I’m paying attention and practicing gratitude.”

Brene Brown

This really works!  It’s amazing how your attitude turns around when you make a conscious effort to focus on the good things in your life.  Sure, your life might not be what you see as ‘perfect’ in someone else’s life.  The only way to put good things in our own life is through keeping the good enough things front and center in our vision…… each step moving us closer to the life we’re meant to have.  

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Welcome To Today!

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Gratitude
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A List of a dozen Gratitudes in my life………….(click here)

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* Note:  My letter sketches were made from ideas I found on Google Images. *

***  This Alphabet Series is a recycle of the posts I created while participating in the A to Z Challenge in 2016 ***