Me in the Middle ~ Self-Compassion

 

Self-Compassion

Compassion ~ Brene Brown

One Mother’s Day I went to the church service at my son and daughter-in-law’s place of worship.  We were a group of eight so getting ready in the morning and getting out the door was a bit of a challenge.  My son was ready before all of us and just smiled and said “It’s an exercise in patience.”  When we arrived for the service, we were late and had to tip-toe in during the Mother’s Day sermon.  It was a sermon on ‘Patience’.  😀  As we made our way to our seats, the pastor was saying “And if we find ourselves always arriving late, we need to have patience with ourselves.”  It really gave us all a laugh!  😀  It helped to give us ‘self-compassion’ and lightened up the moment.

What I took away from that sermon was the message on a photo on the huge overhead screen.  The pastor was sharing the story of what was written on Ruth Bell Graham’s tombstone.  It was a message of Self-Compassion and Humility.  It was a reminder that we’re all ‘under construction’ in this life.

“End of Construction – Thank you for your patience.”

Ruth Bell Graham

 

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I remember those times when things were particularly stressful in my life and I felt I wasn’t measuring up to my expectations for myself.  I was being my own worst critic and definitely much too hard on myself.  Then I read the quote below in a book I was reading for inspiration.  It was such a kind and compassionate image of God being there with us through it all.

“Please be patient. God isn’t finished with me yet….”

Self-Compassion Meditation

~ Chinese Symbol sketch by Mary Lou ~

Me in the Middle of Well Being and Positive Aging

“It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society.”

– Jiddu Krishnamurti ~

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The course I’m taking right now with OLLI (Osher Lifelong Learning Institute) with the University of Virginia has really given me the support I was looking for to apply the lessons I’ve learned over the years of my life.  Transcendence, Well Being and Positive Aging helps you to maintain a ‘transcendent mindset’.  This is something that becomes easier and clearer as we get older if we’re open to being in the moment and being mindful.  We’ve learned more about ourselves and are more willing to choose the behaviors that lead to our well being instead of being pushed and pulled by others and society’s expectations.  I’m finding it a refreshing validation of how to set my own healthy boundaries during these years of letting go and simplifying my life in order to meet the inevitable changes that come with aging.

“Buddhism asserts each of us are born with Buddhanature (something akin to the western concept of a soul, but more precisely a luminous expanse of awareness), an intrinsic state of wholeness that can be discovered and cultivated through meditation.”  

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Successvul People

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Emergent Mind:  Each moment we are constructing our mind, feeding it perceptions, sensations and thoughts which coalesce into beliefs and reality pictures which in turn foster positive or negative feelings.

-Kindnessis a powerful reminder that behind all the negativity and malice, there lies goodnessthat has the powerto change the world.- (1)

Me in the Middle of Lessons Learned ~ Letter K

My Life is a Masterpiece ~ Lessons Learned

My theme ~ Lessons Learned.  I’ll be posting a word that begins with each letter of the alphabet that fits my theme.   This blog/website has become one way to share about myself to my children, my grandchildren and my extended family who are scattered all over the country and the world.  Hopefully, anyone who reads this will be in some way blessed by my throwing my words out onto the World Wide Web and into the Universe.  

 My About Page gives me the focus so that, as I age, I don’t forget what I worked so hard to learn.  It’s going to be fun and challenging!   I hope you’ll stick with me as I strive to meet my goal!!

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“I have learned silence from the talkative, tolerance from the intolerant, and kindness from the unkind; yet strange, I am ungrateful to those teachers.”
-Kahlil Gibran

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Spread the Kindness

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ONE DAY!

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 * Note:  My letter sketches were made from ideas I found on Google Images. *

****  This Alphabet Series is a recycle of the posts I created while participating in the A to Z Challenge in 2016 ***

Me in the Middle of Being Grateful 2017

November Grid

A Dozen Gratitudes for 2017

  1.  For the cup of hot coffee I’m holding in hand while I ponder about this year and how quickly it’s flown by.  Grateful for still being here!

  2. For the ability to distance myself from the noise and drama of this year’s political events.

  3. For the hope that still swells up in my heart with a belief in the goodness and kindness of most people.

  4. For a safe dwelling and a supportive community that recognizes the needs of those of us who are aging.  I’m grateful to those who have filled a need for me this past year. 

  5. For my ‘young-at-heart’ mind that continues to love being creative in my retirement years.  Here’s to more watercolor sketching and creative writing.

  6. For our ‘genius’ system of government which continues to weather through all sorts of abuses yet, hopefully, continues to survive and thrive.  “The presidency is bigger than one man.” ~ President G. W Bush

  7. For the knowledge that my life on this earth is drawing to a close and I’m leaving behind five children, and their families, who strive to make this a better world.

  8. For a stronger sense of resilience and knowledge that I have it within me to face anything that comes my way with strength and grace.  No one is going to rescue me.

  9. For lessons learned this past year about myself, about where some people deserve to be in my life and setting healthy boundaries.     

  10. For the present moment because it is truly a precious gift.  Be aware!  Know what works for you in keeping you grounded and seeking the middle ground.

  11. For the higher power, whatever each person sees that to be, that holds me in unconditional Love through it all.  “You’ve always had the power, my dear.” ~ Glinda (Wizard of Oz)

  12. For the courage I’ve found this year to hold on to my convictions and faith within a very complex culture and society.  Trust your intuition.  You’re the best friend you’ll ever have.

Watercolor sketch © Mary Lou

Me in the Middle of Week 6 Reflection ~ Kindness Without Expectation

Kindness Canva Diana

Week Six ~ Kindness Without Expectation

The sixth prompt for the Kindness Challenge 2017 is Kindness Without Expection.

Diana, Princess of Wales, was one of my kindness role models.  Her life was lived by ‘daring greatly’.  The royal family was forever changed by the way she chose to live her life within the role of princess.  A favorite role model of Diana’s was Mother Teresa.  It was that inspiration that puts the most meaning into the above quote.   Both of them seemed to have mastered the art of making kindness a way of life.  If you read anything about their lives you realize that not always was their kindness returned or appreciated.  They seemed to have developed an ability to shake off these negatives and not let it influence their commitment to act with compassion and let go of expectation.  Not an easy thing to do.  Lessons learned ~ move on.

In my own life, I think sometimes kindness was a mixture of doing kind things in hopes of reaping some of the rewards that comes with the acts along with a desire to be there for others at a time of need.  “One hand washes the other.” ….. “You scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours.”  …….. “What goes round comes round.”  ….. “One good turn deserves another.”  This, in turn, had me focusing a bit more on what I might be getting out of the encounter instead of ‘random acts of kindness’ and letting go.  

Then I realized I didn’t like what was going on inside me when this happened.  It was taking away the joy and goodwill that I felt when I did something for someone.  I’ve found that through making a decision to act out of kindness and then letting go of whether it was reciprocated or not I’ve gained a sense of freedom.  The freedom to dare greatly and live greatly without being hindered by the tendency to judge others.

“If you judge people, you have no time to love them.”

~ Mother Teresa ~

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“The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.” ~Samuel Johnson

~ 20 ways to give without expectations ~ The Tiny Buddha

buddha pixabay

Images by Pixabay